Saturday, February 16, 2019

Here's a REAL national emergency for you, Trump.

Headline: Shooter in deadly Illinois rampage.

Donald Trump recently side-stepped the United States Constitution by declaring a fake national emergence in order to secure the funds he needs to build his useless, promised border wall.  Rather than face the fact that this wall will do nothing to limit the transport of drugs by motor vehicles into the U.S. he insists he needs to keep his promise to his base although he lied about Mexico paying for it.  But then we shouldn't be surprised.  We all know he's a compulsive liar.

Anyway, Trump apparently thinks he needs to listen to the ignorant rabble he calls a base instead of the other 80% percent of the nation. 

If he is that concerned about national emergencies, I suggest he focus on the latest of a national tragedy-too many guns in the hands of the wrong people. And what is he and his republican cohorts doing about it?  Continuing to collect obscene sums of blood money from the NRA, that's what!

WAKE UP, AMERICA.  HE. HAS. GOT. TO. GO!!

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Happy Valentine's Day

All you husbands out there. Remember to get a card, flowers, candy, whatever or you'll be in trouble!  Here are some Valentine's Day statistics for you to ponder:

1 in 2 Americans plan to celebrated Valentine's Day
Americans will spend a total of 19.7 billion.
The average American spends $166.
25-34 year olds spend the most money.
35% of Valentine's Day shopping takes place at a department store; specialty store=19%; florist=20%.

For the record, I did not spend $166 but that's OK because I'm way beyond the 25-34 year old group of big spenders.

Suggested card for older married men:



Tuesday, February 5, 2019

The State of the Union: What SHOULD be said vs. what WILL be said

As required by the Constitution of the United States the disgusting human being (barely) we call a president will deliver the State of the Union Address.

Herewith is my view of what should be said vs what will be said.

What he SHOULD say

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and honored guests.  It is with great pleasure that I stand before you to deliver the State of the Union Address.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have looked back over the past two years of my service to this great country and I have reflected deeply on my performance.  What I've seen is not pretty.  I have spent an inordinate amount of time issuing nonsensical tweets, preaching hatred, bigotry and intolerance.  I have royally screwed up congressionally mandated legislation by setting the environmental movement back 60 years, destroying the foundation of  public education, creating confusion and hardship with an incomprehensible trade policy, thoroughly embarrassing our great country with our allies, utterly destroying a flawed but workable affordable health care system and laying waste to an already broken immigration policy. 

I am so deeply ashamed that there is only one thing left for me to do.  I hereby resign my presidency and hand the mantle of leadership to (God help us all) Vice President Pence.  With any luck at all, he'll realize he's utterly unfit for the job and resign along with me. 

At that time we can begin the healing process.  That is all. God bless you and the United States of America.

What he WILL say (or a close rendition thereof)
Hay, hay, hay.  Has this been a ride or what? Am I not the greatest president of all time, ever, in the history of our wonderful country.  Oh, sure. There have been a few minor bumps in the road but that's to be expected given the task left to me.  In view of my very, very enormous success I would like to announce Executive Order No. 600,023 whereby I rename the United States Capitol building The Donald Trump Monument to Himself.  I will then order a pre-approved likeness of me etched into the dome of the building for future generations to admire (at this point Congressional republicans stand up enmasse and cheer wildly for 20 minutes).  I will then immediately issue another executive order requiring every single news agency in the country present to me for approval what they intend to say for that day's news.  By God I'll have no more fake news in my country.

So the good news is you have 2 more years of this unless of course our corrupt democratic House and the phony witch hunt investigation of  Mueller somehow get me impeached but I'll deal with that later.

For now MAKE AMERICA HATE AGAIN!

Friday, February 1, 2019

Are you an 'anti-vaxxer'?

Do you know what a 'vaxxer' is? If so, then you of course know what an 'anti-vaxxer' is.  I ran across this term for the first time on a Facebook post.  Someone wanted to know what steps they could take to help their children avoid catching common-place childhood diseases such as measles, mumps, etc.   They were seeking this information because they didn't believe in vaccinations, hence the term vaxxer, or in this case, antivaxxer.

The responses to this person's post ranged from raw sarcasm to severe scolding.  After all, who in their right mind wouldn't want to vaccinate their kids?  Well, as it happens there are a fair number of people who feel that way.  Some of them have religious beliefs that prohibit medical treatment like vaccinations but the overwhelming majority feel that way because of an article published  some time ago  in the British medical journal, Lancet.  The author, a prominent physician, linked vaccinations to the onset of autism.

It wasn't until some time later that the claims made in the article were completely debunked and the physician was kicked out of the British Medical Society as a quack.  Unfortunately the belief persists.  Parents are worried that their children if vaccinated will develop autism.  That belief is completely and absolutely false.

So what happens when kids don't get immunized?  They just get sick and move on, right?  Lots of people my age had childhood diseases like measles and mumps and here we are.  But there are also a lot of people walking around with complications from those diseases.  And that's the least of it.  Sick children also pose a threat to other's-especially pregnant women.  Women who are exposed to many of these diseases in the early stages of pregnancy risk developmental issues for their unborn babies.

There are other consequences too but the point is people who avoid vaccinating their kids are in my view negligent, irresponsible and, well, just plain stupid.

That was pretty much what most people told that lady who put that post on Facebook.

There's no law saying you have to vaccinate your kids but I hope you're prepared to home school them because unless they've been vaccinated they're not going to a public school.

Be a 'vaxxer'!