Here's another sample from Volume Two, A Brief History.

Story 30: Do you have a family member you wish you'd gotten to know better?

Yes…and no.  How’s that for a nice clear answer?  There were five people in my immediate family. There were my parents, two sisters and little, old me. My parents stayed together until their mutual deaths.  My father died first at the age of 72.  My mother died four years later at the age of 76.  My mother was 10 months older than my father.

 

In addition to my parents I had a sister 8 years older than me and one two years younger.  My older sister left home at the age of 19 when I was 11.  While she was home I knew her about as well as an eleven year old little brother could know a big sister. 

 

I know my younger sister quite well.  We were in some of the same social circles in high school and later when we both married and had families our parents’ house became a weekly gathering place.  Even to this day my younger sister and her second husband don’t live far from us and we see them from time to time but email on a more regular basis so we are in frequent touch.

 

My relationship with my older sister was much more complicated.  She passed away at the age of 69.  I was 61 but I hadn’t seen her in at least 20 years.  In thinking back there were several long periods of time between contacts with her.  As I mentioned she left home when I was 11.  I didn’t see her again for any length of time for the next 10 years.  Then when I got drafted and stationed in North Carolina we reconnected and there were several weekends when I traveled to Virginia to visit with her and her family.  When I got discharged I didn’t see her again until I got married.  That was a couple of years later.  Then there was another very long period of time when I didn’t see her.  And so it went. 

 

I would of course hear about her through her daughters and my sister but there was never any direct contact between the two of us.

 

I’ve never really been able to explain why this happened.  We simply didn’t reach out to each other much. That’s all.  Some of our interactions were somewhat conflict ridden so that didn’t help.  I really believe there was a sibling rivalry thing going on.  My sister was 8 when I was born so all attention turned to me and that seemed to be the case going forward-especially where my mother was concerned. 

 

I can’t say I’ve really been bothered by it.  To use a very overused saying it is what it is.

 

There are others outside my immediate family that I would have been interested in knowing better.  My mother’s parents for example.  I have no recollection of them whatever. They passed away before I was born or at least when I was a baby.

 

There’s also my mother’s brother Manly.  I got my middle name from him.  He was very close to my mother but when he returned from World War II he stayed around for a while then went to California.  He severed all contact from his whole family back east.  We did connect with his son, my cousin, some years later but he was not forthcoming with information.

 

Here again I don’t lay awake nights thinking about it.  It’s simply part of life.  But I do get curious from time to time when we have family discussions.  Other than my sister and uncle there are no other family members who are mysteries to me.  

 

First picture:  My sister Judy's high school grad picture.

Second Picture: A collage of my Uncle Manlio.

Third Picture: My maternal grandfather with Judy.