Here's another sample from Volume Two, A Brief History.

Story 30: Do you have a family member you wish you'd gotten to know better?

Yes…and no.  How’s that for a nice clear answer?  There were five people in my immediate family. There were my parents, two sisters and little, old me. My parents stayed together until their mutual deaths.  My father died first at the age of 72.  My mother died four years later at the age of 76.  My mother was 10 months older than my father.

 

In addition to my parents I had a sister 8 years older than me and one two years younger.  My older sister left home at the age of 19 when I was 11.  While she was home I knew her about as well as an eleven year old little brother could know a big sister. 

 

I know my younger sister quite well.  We were in some of the same social circles in high school and later when we both married and had families our parents’ house became a weekly gathering place.  Even to this day my younger sister and her second husband don’t live far from us and we see them from time to time but email on a more regular basis so we are in frequent touch.

 

My relationship with my older sister was much more complicated.  She passed away at the age of 69.  I was 61 but I hadn’t seen her in at least 20 years.  In thinking back there were several long periods of time between contacts with her.  As I mentioned she left home when I was 11.  I didn’t see her again for any length of time for the next 10 years.  Then when I got drafted and stationed in North Carolina we reconnected and there were several weekends when I traveled to Virginia to visit with her and her family.  When I got discharged I didn’t see her again until I got married.  That was a couple of years later.  Then there was another very long period of time when I didn’t see her.  And so it went. 

 

I would of course hear about her through her daughters and my sister but there was never any direct contact between the two of us.

 

I’ve never really been able to explain why this happened.  We simply didn’t reach out to each other much. That’s all.  Some of our interactions were somewhat conflict ridden so that didn’t help.  I really believe there was a sibling rivalry thing going on.  My sister was 8 when I was born so all attention turned to me and that seemed to be the case going forward-especially where my mother was concerned. 

 

I can’t say I’ve really been bothered by it.  To use a very overused saying it is what it is.

 

There are others outside my immediate family that I would have been interested in knowing better.  My mother’s parents for example.  I have no recollection of them whatever. They passed away before I was born or at least when I was a baby.

 

There’s also my mother’s brother Manly.  I got my middle name from him.  He was very close to my mother but when he returned from World War II he stayed around for a while then went to California.  He severed all contact from his whole family back east.  We did connect with his son, my cousin, some years later but he was not forthcoming with information.

 

Here again I don’t lay awake nights thinking about it.  It’s simply part of life.  But I do get curious from time to time when we have family discussions.  Other than my sister and uncle there are no other family members who are mysteries to me.  

 

First picture:  My sister Judy's high school grad picture.

Second Picture: A collage of my Uncle Manlio.

Third Picture: My maternal grandfather with Judy.

 

Happy birthdays

 Note: birthdays plural.  October is a big month for birthdays.  My wife Sandi's is the 4th and our grandson Cole's is the 11th.  This year is especially big for Cole as he turns 16.  He sent me a text showing him proudly displaying his learner's permit so we have a new driver in the family. 

Where does the time go?  It seems like just yesterday he was following me around the yard with his toy plastic wheel barrow, picking up little twigs and generally helping me around the yard.  And he's not even the oldest.  There are two others older than him. 

Funny how they all age so quickly and we kind of stay the same, isn't it?

Happy birthday.  Cole is 16.  Sandi isn't!

Story 29; Vol. II, My Stories

I thought you would find the latest story to Volume Two of My Stories interesting.  When you have settled on a motto for yourself, leave it in the comments section. Thanks.

Story 29: What would you consider your motto?

This week’s question is interesting.  Ask most people what their motto is and they would probably say they don’t really have one.  But in my view whether or not you realize it everyone has a motto.

 

A motto is like an abbreviated philosophy of life.  It’s a reflection of your basic personality and character.   For example consider the following three potential mottos: “Live everyday like it’s your last”; “Be the change you wish to see in the world”; “One day at a time”.  Each one of these mottos represents a different way to approach life whether it be above all else, have a good time all the way to make a plan to change the world. 

 

My personal motto is very much a reflection of my particular way of handling things.  It is Keep Calm and Carry On. The keep calm part is definitely me.  I don’t fly off the handle when life hits a brick wall-and believe me-at 80 years old I’ve hit more than a few brick walls. 

 

The second part is also like me.  I interpret Carry On to mean analyze the situation and handle it.  When life throws a monkey wrench into the works, figure out what needs to be done to work things out.   But sometimes life’s little wrenches don’t have a solution.  Then what?  Carry on, that’s what.  Keep going.  Curling up into a ball of despair is not going to solve anything. 

 

I have to confess I did not invent the Keep Calm and Carry On motto.  As far as I can determine it originated during world war II by England’s  Ministry of Information.  To me that makes sense.  The sentiment of Keep Calm is very British.  They’re not an excitable group of people like, say, the Italians who become very animated and emotional during crises situations.  Given the fact I’m part English and part Italian my temperament could have gone either way but in thinking back to my childhood it was my Italian mother who tended to keep calm when things went south and my English father was the one who flew off the handle.  Go figure.  My family has always been a little weird.

 

In order to help you, dear reader, decide on a motto that suits you, here’s a list of potential mottos  I put together for your consideration.  Just think about the kind of person you are and choose one-or make up one of your own.  There’s a motto out there for everyone. 

 

1. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

2. Live every day like it's your last.

3. Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.

4. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

5. Let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are.

6. If you are not obsessed with your life, change it.

7. Set some goals, then demolish them.

8. A ship at harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are for.

9. Take small steps every day.

10. If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up.

11. Be a rainbow in someone else's cloud.

12. Don't sweat the small stuff

13. Will this matter a year from now? 

14. Always remember to fall asleep with a dream and wake up with a purpose.

15. If you are not wiling to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.

16. Always find a reason to laugh.

17. What's meant to be will always find a way. 

18. If you can't stop thinking about it, don't stop working for it.

19. Life is a one time offer, use it well.

20. Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

21. We have tomorrows for a reason. 

22. Your soul knows when it's on to something.

23. Eat healthy, sleep well, breathe deeply, enjoy life.

24. Some of the best things in life are mistakes.

25. Everything in life that matters requires risk.

26. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

27. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking.

28. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

29. If for a while the harder you try the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been for the best people who ever lived.

30. Be happy with what you have while working for what you want. 

31. Be who you needed when you were younger.

32. A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.

33. If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.

34. Nothing will make you feel better except doing the work.

35. What you choose to focus on becomes your reality. 

 

And if none of these do it for you then here’s my advice DON’T WORRY. BE HAPPY!