More About Kids

Yesterday was 'Grand Daughters Day' again. It's interesting to see how their interests evolve as they get older. For example the latest new, fun activity is cutting pictures of animals-adult and baby-from some old calendars and magazines I save for that purpose. For the most part it goes smoothly except for the times when they both want the same one. Then, it's necessary to strictly adhere to the rule: the first one to claim it, gets it. Then the other child gets the next pick. As in almost all other cases, once kids know the rules and they're fair, then it all works out. The key here is 'fair rules'. Kids have an uncanny knack for immediatley recognizing a 'fixed' or unfair game. The other interesting thing about this game is something the older grand daughter frequently asks: Is this animal 'mean'? Try explaining to an almost 5 year old that the concept of 'mean' only applies to people. There really aren't 'mean' animals. They are what they are. Well, of course, one doesn't start a discussion like this because what the child really wants to know is 'is the animal hostile, harmful, aggresive or scary looking.' For example yellow jackets, snakes and dinosaurs could be defined as mean according to the above. The last animal my grand daughter asked about was a lion. I just explained that they are indeed aggressive when hungry or threatened but aside from that they weren't any meaner than any other animal. She seemed to buy that for the moment.
Then there's the other meaning of 'mean' to a child. At some point in the day, I had to reprimand the 4 year old for something she was doing. She said she wasn't coming to the house any more because I was 'mean'. Kids say things like that all the time. Adults who take it too seriously or who let their feelings get hurt are making a big mistake because in a few minutes the child completely forgets it but some adults will obsess about it the rest of the day! I used to see it happen all the time with the parents of my students. Kids blurt out things when they're mad, that's all. And then they're over it. Done. There's a lot to be learned from kids. All we need to do is listen.